Waited on the thunder!

Days 6-8 (which is one number and one dash away from my second favorite number!) ...

I've been discovered by security -- sort of, anyway.

They have a new guy working: Rick, from New Orleans.  Super nice guy.  So I'm on my way to the car last night; I've got a sleeping bag, and it's 2:30 in the morning. I'm about halfway between my studio and where my car is parked when I see a set of headlights heading my direction.  I think about hiding, but I decide I should just keep walking to my car and put away my sleeping bag, which I do.  The security guy, Rick, stops and asks how it's going, and if I'm pulling a long one tonight.

I say, "Yeah, I've got some more work to do in my studio."

He tells me not to forget to lock my studio, which is good advice, and we talk for awhile.  We talk about his friend, who's driving to Vermont for a visit.  His friend lives in Flint, Michigan, which is not too far from where I live in Detroit. We talk about his son. Then I tell him how fast it is, driving from MI to VT, to go through Canada -- it's a straight shot through Ontario. You have to swing down below Lake Erie, back up again, and drive across New York to get to VT through the States.  He says he'll tell his friend and drives off.

I walk back to my studio and turn on the light and wait for him to finish his rounds.  Once I see him drive past, I'lI know he's on his way to the other end of campus.  There's only one road to this side of campus; past my studio are only a couple of faculty houses and a loop back around.

So he drives by, and I wait about ten minutes, just to be safe, and then I'm off to dreamland with Little Nemo.

Two hours later I'm woken up by the sound of a car idling outside of my car.  I suspect security, but I think that he's just doing another set of rounds.  I wait until he's gone, then I wait another ten minutes to make sure he's looped back around -- because if he hasn't already, he'll be more than able to in ten minutes.  (It takes about one and a half minutes to go down and loop around -- if that.)

The reason I'm waiting is that I've realized, upon waking up, that I have to pee maybe worse than I ever have in my entire life.  Even though I haven't peed the bed in like 25 years, at this point I'm seriously surprised I haven't peed the Jeep.  That's how bad I have to go.

So once I figure he's driven back to the main part of campus, I get out to pee.

And, sure enough, he comes driving up around the corner.

He comes out past what is know as the secret garden. (It's a secret garden because it's a garden, and it's surrounded on all four sides by a seven-foot tall brick wall.  I guess that's why it's a secret garden???  I always assumed that's just what you call a thing like that.  Probably has something to do with the British?  "Look at me everyone! I'm Brit-ish! I've got a brick woll an sum roses! I'm a blutty Union Jack-Off!")

So it's like the dude was waiting for me to get out of the Jeep.  I try my darnedest to stop peeing and close the door to the Jeep, but it's too late -- campus safety is upon me.  (I've been calling them security up to this point, but they're actually called campus safety now.  They had to go to verbal judo classes and everything.  Apparently, "verbal judo" is not what happens when you cut someone off then get caught at a light next to them. I looked up the exact translation of "judo" from Japanese to English, and I came up with "gentle way."  I think something gets lost in the translation.  If you don't believe me, just go to YouTube and search under "judo."  Then you'll see that there isn't much gentleness involved.)

So anyway -- ol' Rick asks me all these questions, and he seems really concerned.  He asks me why I'm sleeping in the back of my Jeep and if I have a place to live. Then he tells me that I can stay with him.  He's being a real sweetheart.

Now, I've been up for like twelve minutes at this point, mind you, and ten of those were spent in a sleeping bag with my eyes closed, waiting, so I'm not exactly at the top of my game.  I'm all like, sure sure sure, I have a place down in North Bennington on Church Street (real street); I'm just taking a little nap then I'm going to get back to work.  He asks if I'm working on a painting, and I tell him that I'm reading for my philosophy class, and the reason it's taking so long is because I have no idea what's going on.

This is all true, you know -- I am having a very difficult time.  I thought Jean Baudrillard, William S. Burroughs, and Guy Debord were tough reads for my Media Matrix class way back when, but this Rene Descartes is a real pain in the tookis. 

"I think, therefore I am. Or maybe it's I am, therefore I think.  Or maybe therefore I am, I think.  Or maybe therefore, I think I am.  Or maybe I perceive my judgments, which lead me to think I am.  Or maybe I think I am because I perceive that I think.  Or maybe my perception of being I am is based on the fact that I think.  Or maybe an evil demon is perceiving all this for me, for he thinks that I am. Or maybe my perceived notion of a just god and not a deceptive god is what leads me to judge that I am. Or maybe maybe maybe maybe blah bl-blah bl-blah bl-blah bl-blah.  Or maybe..."

Dude, shut the fuck up already!  Maybe you're bumming me out.  Maybe you shouldn't smoke so much weed.  Maybe you shouldn't eat ten-day old crepes for breakfast.

So I'm trying to explain the situation as best I can to Rick, but I'm not sure he's buying it.  I ask him how he saw me, with a big old fake confused smile on my face, trying to be all innocent and such, and he tells me he saw me poke up my head when he drove by. I'm pretty sure I didn't poke-up-a-my-head, but maybe I did.  I'm thinking he might have taken a peek in the car.  Maybe he suspected me when he saw me put the sleeping bag into the back.  Maybe I should have hidden and maybe none of this would have happened.

Maybe?

In the end he drives off, but he doesn't seem convinced.  But maybe I'm being paranoid.

So I go back to my studio, and I sit there and try to work. After a half-hour, I decide to head down to Commons and sleep on the third floor on my little sleeping mat. I'm mad careful not to be seen as I'm walking down to the main part of campus so I take this path that goes through some trees and past a pond and then comes up near the science building before connecting with the main road into the main part of campus.  On the other side of this road is Commons. (Kids get mail and eat meals here; there are also computers and a big screen TV.)

Then, as I'm about to cross the road, I see the headlights of the campus safety vehicle.  So of course I have to run back and jump in the bushes and lie on the ground until Rick has driven past. And of course I'm freaking out because I just know there are spiders crawling all over me.

Then I get up and go to bed. Not too stressful or anything.

I'll head back down to the third floor of Commons tonight, but to be honest, I think everything is fine.  Time will tell.

Till next time!